I don’t mind admitting that I have a rather infantile sense of humor, so when I happen upon rude place names, I can’t help but giggle. It doesn’t matter whether they are downright rude enough to elicit a guffaw or a snort or two, or just bring a faint smile, finding humor in rude places names is just simple, harmless fun. This might be a peculiarly British-SOH-centric post, but come with me on a journey around the world to find some rude place names to bring a smile.
How would you like to live in Poo? I’m guessing that if you did, you would probably prefer the alternative spellings of Pooh or Puh, but whatever, it is still one of those rude place names that will make you smile. Despite its name, Poo is a lovely place known for its natural beauty and wealth of vineyards, apricot orchards and almond groves. There’s also a Poo in Asturias, Northern Spain and it has a beach. Fancy a day at Poo Beach anyone?
Ok, let’s be fair about this; the real, full and proper name of this little village in west Iran is Shit-e Kamarzard. As a tiny place that according to a census in 2006 only had a population of 322, I couldn’t find anything else out about Shit.
I’ve gone into puerile SOH overload now. Algeria has not just one place called Tit! Algeria has a pair of Tits. Like most pairs of tits, one Tit is bigger than the other. The larger of the two is Tit in Adrar Province which has a population of just under 5,000. The smaller Tit is in Tamanrasset Province and is the site of an important battle against the French in 1902.
Bloody hell! You do have to sometimes wonder of the etymology of places with rude names, but there’s often a reasonable explanation. Le Tampon is on Réunion Island – an overseas territory of France. I looked it up and in French, a tampon is well, un tampon, but whereas in English we only have one word for it, one meaning for it and only use it in one way, the French language uses it much more widely. It can mean stopper, plug, wad, swab, tampon, stamp, and buffer – pretty logical really.
You’re a young boy growing up in a tribe in the Bonthe District in southern Sierra Leone. Would it be your ambition to be, one day, Chief of Bum? Hmm!
Staying in the same area of general toilet humor, and also in the same region of West Africa, Pee is not so very far from Bum. Pee is in Liberia, Sierra Leone’s next door neighbor. I hope you don’t think I’m taking the piss with these rude place names because the only information I could find about Pee is that it is in Margibi Province.
Thank heaven they saw fit to add the Creek! I think it’s only the USA that uses the term beaver to describe a lady’s most intimate parts. To the rest of the English speaking world, a wet beaver merely makes us think of a cute aquatic creature with a large overbite and a predilection for building dams, rather than being used as rude place names.
Ok, I’m going to steer clear of segueing into what makes a beaver wet – oh damn! I failed. Seymen is a village in Turkey, not far from the Marmaris coast. Now, that would be a much more pleasant connotation – Seymen, a little fishing village full of seamen! Oh wait! There is also another place and it is spelt how we would expect – all hail to the town of Semen in Indonesia.
We Brits do tend to snigger at anything “poo” related, and crap is one of our favorite cuss words. It’s crap! They’re crap! What a load of crap! And actually, it’s a good word with a sound etymology. It is actually derived from Thomas Crapper, a Victorian plumber who did much to further the development and popularity of the flushing toilet. Of course, this is all meaningless to the residents of Crap in Switzerland. There are various Swiss Craps, with Crap being a common name for mountains, for example Crap Sogn Gion.
Well someone sure made a bum move when they changed the name of Mayamus and Upper Landing to Mianus didn’t they? What were they thinking? Let’s be kind and say there was some logic to it as someone had previously named the river and gorge as Mianus so, naming the settlement (in Greenwich, Connecticut) seemed the right thing to do.
I’m pretty sure that the residents of "Jerk Off" are blissfully unaware of the colloquial English usage of their town name, and would probably scratch their heads at the thought of it being included in a list of places with rude names. Jirkov is a pretty little place close to the German border, with old buildings and cobbled streets.
Only people with a juvenile sense of humor find some rude place names funny. i.e. people like me. The laughability factor of Middelfart increased just a little more when I found out that the name actually means central passage.
This has to be the absolute king of the rude place names. I had to double check that it really exists and isn’t just a joke. But it does exist and it is a little village in Austria. It will come as no surprise that tourists flock to Fucking to have their photograph taken next to one of the four road signs. Could there be a better travel advert than Fucking is brilliant!
Despite a number of campaigns to get the name changed, Dildo has remained steadfast. And it’s not just one; indeed there’s a small clutch of dildos in Newfoundland, Canada. There are the settlements of North Dildo and South Dildo, Dildo Island and Dildo Arm, the entrance to Trinity Bay. But Canada doesn’t have autonomy over dildos. One of the Florida Keys is called Dildo – it’s named for the Dildo Cactus that grows there.
There are some rude place names that might only be titter-worthy to the Brits, and Wankum is one of them (we see it as wank-em). Wanking is a slang term for male masturbation, and calling someone a wanker is definitely a major insult in the UK. British motorists on the continent love to stop and get their pictures taken next to the road sign. We find it even funnier when we know it is not too far from Titz.
There are some very strange place names in Australia. Many of them have Aboriginal etymologies and some have been simply transplanted from the UK. One that features in quite a few place names is Knob which usually refers to a rounded hill. It becomes funny when you know that knob is a slang term for penis and also for an obnoxious person. However, to me, one of the funniest rude place names in Oz is Tittybong, although I give a wry smile to Bumbang and Mount Buggery too.
Like a pimply teenager fumbling in the dark on his first date, I failed in my quest to reach Vagina. All I can ascertain is that there are actually two towns named Vagina in Russia. Fruitlessly, I have been unable to find out any origins of the names. The word may very well be pronounced completely differently in Russian so that it sounds nothing like the English word.
I’m pretty sure that it is probably not pronounced f**k you but it would look a good swear word in text speak wouldn’t it? Imagine meeting someone from here. How do you do? Where are you from? Fuku!
What generated this post really was the fact that I recently had to write to a company based in Pratts Bottom, and it got me thinking just how many places with rude names there are in the UK. We have Crapstone, Upper and Lower Piddle, Twatt, Ugley, Upper Thong, Shitterton, Muff, Cockermouth, Tickle Cock Bridge and Sandy Balls. We also have a few which include the word fanny. I know it’s not funny to our American cousins who use it as a word for your butt, but in the UK, we use fanny as a slang word for the lady’s front bottom! And if you asked about rude street names, the list would go on for pages and pages.
Ok, fess up! How many of you thought this was silly and I’m not going to read this, yet carried on right through to the end? Which of these rude place names raised a smile? Do you live somewhere with a rude or funny name?
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