I could find all kinds of reasons not to go on vacation. I enjoy visiting different places, but I really don't care for the travelling involved in getting there! Besides, you spend all that money on something that's over in a week or two. Perhaps you also wonder why you bothered, post-vacation. Here are some humorous reasons not to go on vacation …
1. You Find Tourists Annoying
Of all the reasons not to go on vacation, this must be the top one. Tourists are annoying. Anyone who lives in a city popular with visitors will understand this. But wait … if you travel anywhere, you're a tourist as well! So if tourists get on your nerves, then it's only fair not to be one yourself. Besides, as much as you may want to see the paintings at the Louvre or take photos in Times Square, do you really want to be fighting for space with thousands of people doing the same thing?
2. The Waiting
There's a reason why they call it a terminal. That's because it feels as though you've been waiting there forever. A minute in Terminal Time is like an hour in the real world. The waiting is never-ending. You queue at check-in, wait hours for your flight, suffer delays, queue at the departure gate … And then you have to go through the whole procedure again on the way home!
After all that waiting around, you finally board your flight. But your suffering isn't over. You're trapped for hours next to that annoying person who insists on telling you their (utterly unenthralling) life story. There's no chance of escape. And then there's the risk of finding your flight infested by snakes … what do you mean, that was fiction?
4. They're Too Short
Unlike Terminal Time, Vacation Time seems proportionately reduced. Two weeks is over in little more than the time it takes you to order your first cocktail. Then you have to go back to work, maybe while still suffering from jet lag. And it'll be another year before you can go on vacation again. Really, it hardly seems worth the effort - you might as well stay at home!
5. Waste of Money
When even a weekend away can cost hundreds of dollars, a two-week vacation can really add up. The cost of the vacation itself is only a part of the total expense. There's the cost of the passport, clothes, insurance, vaccinations … it all adds up to a lot of money blown in a matter of days. Why not spend the money on something more durable instead?
6. You Don't Speak the Language
Surprisingly, even in destinations popular with tourists, you can't expect that everyone speaks English. Not speaking the language can lead to all kinds of mishaps and misunderstandings. At best you'll end up ordering pig's trotters in a restaurant. At worst, you'll ask your taxi driver to sell you to an Arab sheikh. The best way to avoid language problems? Stay home.
7. Your Pets
Lastly, think of your beloved animals. They will never forgive you for going away and leaving them in kennels or with your neighbor. And your pets will find plenty of ways of punishing you for daring to leave them at home while you go away and enjoy yourself. They will leave "presents" in your shoes, and wake you up at 5am for months by way of retaliation. Do you really want to incur the wrath of something that has sharp teeth and claws?
Vacationing is obviously a lot more fun than I've painted it, but we've all had experiences that make us wonder why we ever bothered booking a trip. Some vacations just seem doomed to disaster! Have you ever had a holiday from hell, or an incident that you just had to laugh at?